It all started with a Tinder match in 2016 that led to a quintessentially Angeleno first date: a screening of Purple Rain in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, followed by a late-night dance set by Questlove.
Avriel Epps-Darling researches race, human development, and computer science at Harvard, and makes music under the name King avriel. In describing her connection with now-husband, criminal defense and civil rights attorney, Erin Darling, she notes that their connection evolved over time, and was based in a foundation stronger than just their mutual love for music, Mexican food, and Malibu: "The fact that we both had such similar upbringings, strong political values, and were born and raised in Los Angeles made us eventually realize we were the ones for each other."
From there, the couple spent the first few years of their relationship surfing, hunting down Jonathan Gold-recommended restaurants, and sitting curbside on summer nights eating street tacos after LA Phil shows at the Hollywood Bowl. "We’re both passionate about community activism and justice, which shows up not just in our work, but also in our friendships, family, [and more]," says Epps-Darling. "It’s what makes our bond so strong. We know that we’re working toward the same goal together.”
That shared commitment to their values and each other that got Avriel and Erin through the challenges of a long-distance relationship. Erin’s civil rights law practice kept him firmly rooted in Los Angeles, while Avriel was equally committed to her research at Harvard, focusing on bias in digital content recommendation algorithms and their impact on racial identity development. To stay connected despite the long distance, they made it their tradition to rendezvous regularly in cities nationwide.
After dating long distance for three years, it was on a trip to Washington D.C. for Avriel’s 28th birthday that Erin proposed—with the Hillwood Estate’s Japanese Garden as a backdrop. The proposal was private, just for the two of them. “But [my whole family] knew it was happening," remembers Avriel. "Erin had everyone on standby to FaceTime. He actually got a stranger to film our proposal by pretending to be taking photos of us.” Erin proposed with a round, solitaire, 3-carat diamond set in a gold, six-pronged setting, designed by the father of one of his childhood friends. "It was exactly what I wanted—classic and timeless,” says Avriel.
The engaged couple remained across the country from one another, even after they became pregnant with their son, Geronimo, aka Nemo. They managed to move in together right before Nemo was born, just nine months before their wedding date. “It was pretty hectic, planning a wedding and being a new mom," Avriel tells BAZAAR Bride.
But when it came to choosing where to get married, the choice was an easy one. "We really wanted to get married in Malibu on the same beach where Erin's parents had been married,” explains Avriel. “We also wanted to make use of public land, so when we came across the Adamson House, which is an estate museum and California Historical Site at Malibu Lagoon State Beach, it was perfect. The house is even under Erin’s jurisdiction as a Los Angeles County Commissioner, and it gave us a beach, a garden, and a museum wedding all in one.”
A 1929 Mediterranean revivalist house located between Surfrider Beach and the Malibu Lagoon, Adamson House's architecture features a mix of Spanish and Moorish influences—think one-of-a-kind craftsmanship that includes hand-carved doors, hand-painted frescoes, molded ceilings, distinctive cast ironwork, and lead-framed bottle glass windows. Even with its historic architecture, the venue is best known for its dazzling decorative tilework, the best surviving examples of the ceramics produced by Malibu potteries between 1926 and 1932.
The couple quickly assembled a team lead by coordinator Rebecca Cohn, including the precision-service of Huntington Catering, the creative mind and muscle of florist Whit Hazen, and the custom invitations and signage of Let’s Party’s Barbara Feld. Photographers Chris Callaway and Vanessa Bulger are long-time friends of the groom, and joined forces to photograph the couple's special day.
The rehearsal dinner took place at a Mexican restaurant in Venice that Erin's family has been "having all their special dinners at" for years. While the location was low-key and familiar, the bride dressed up. Avriel donned a vintage silk, low-cut jumpsuit from Los Angeles vintage haven, Happy Isles, paired with YSL heels.
For the ceremony and reception, the bride wore a strapless, high-low ballgown of artfully-cut ferns by Oscar de la Renta, paired with Jimmy Choo sandals accented with dramatic horsehair bows. She paired the look with Oscar de la Renta earrings.
The fashion and decor were only a small part of what made Avriel and Erin's wedding unique to their family, their values, and their style. “We didn’t want our wedding to be divorced from everything else that’s going on in the world right now,” says Avriel. “We felt it would be inauthentic of us to have this lavish party without acknowledging that our country is going through a moral reckoning."
It was no surprise to guests that the pair placed their core beliefs at the center of their wedding day. “We had our florist, Whit Hazen, create a ‘No Wall, No Cages’ installation at the entrance to our ceremony site. I [also] didn’t have my dad walk me down the aisle,” says Avriel, “that would have felt too patriarchal for me. He played me down the aisle on his guitar, instead.”
The ceremony was the centerpiece of the event, as it should be, and included a diverse blend of Quaker, Jewish, African-American, and leftist Humanist cultures, religions, and traditions. “I’m Black and Jewish, so I really wanted us to crush the glass and jump the broom,” Avriel explains—and so she did. The ceremony began with a traditional Jewish prayer read by Avriel’s grandmother, Elaine Slonim, and ended with leaping the broom to Aretha Franklin’s "Jump To It". The couple said their vows on a dais decorated with flowers and foliage local to Los Angeles: bougainvillea, birds of paradise, cacti, and palms. The wedding was unofficially co-officiated by Gary Weimberg and celebrant Jim Grow, who told guests how he’d married Erin’s parents in more or less the exact same spot 30 years before, adding: “If you’re doing the math in your head, yes, Erin was present at his parents’ wedding—much like Geronimo.”
The personalized ceremony was the ultimate expression of the pair, as individuals and as a couple, and had everybody weeping. “We wrote our ceremony. We wrote our vows. We married ourselves and I am extremely proud of that,” says Avriel. “It was totally us."
Guests headed to the cocktail hour after the couple exchanged vows, where they enjoyed chicken and waffles and two signature cocktails, an option of a mezcal orgeat blend or a pick-me-up of brandy and cold brew. As a surprise to the groom, a live painter captured a scene from the ceremony as guests dined, sipped, and danced, with plans to complete it before the night came to a close. Before the reception, the couple invited their guests to tour the venue, with docents there to guide them through the estate and explain its history as they sipped their cocktails. After drinks, small bites, and a tour, guests found their seats via a vintage map of Los Angeles county; tables were named after the county's beaches, where Erin loves to surf.
The couple's color palette utilized the tones of the shore, the "native foliage of LA," as well as the tilework of the venue. The result? An event of "bougainvillea burgundy, palm green, seafoam, ocean blues, and gold reminiscent of the rolling hills of the Santa Monica mountains."
The couple chose tabletop by Casa de Perrin, which they rented along with linens from Borrowed Blu. In lieu of favors, each place setting featured a card, explaining that the couple would be making donations to 20 Los Angeles-based community organizations, "ranging from those working to end mass incarceration, to others providing legal assistance to asylum seekers at the border, and another supporting homeless youth."
The entertainment, like much of the event, was handled by dear friends. Erin's college friend, DJ Phatrick, and Avriel's friend D.C., a morning radio DJ based in San Francisco, handled the music. "We made our entrance to The Meter’s "Just Kissed My Baby"—with our baby in tow," says Avriel. "Our first dance was to "Your Love is My Love” by Whitney Houston. We both fell in love to this song during our first road trip to Mexico, and it’s been on our shared playlist ever since."
After dinner and dancing, Avriel changed into a Balmain mini dress for the after party; she complemented the look with a headpiece from Magnetic Midnight. In lieu of a wedding cake, churros with shots of Mexican hot chocolate were served. After guests left the venue, the party continued at one of the couple's favorite late-night bars, which is located (conveniently) across the street from the venue.
When it came to wedding planning, this couple's event was far more than décor, and entertainment—although they made sure their guests had a ball in a stunning setting, too. For Avriel and Erin, their wedding was just as much about what their union stands for, and their shared goals as individuals and as a family.
"We’re both passionate about community activism and justice, which makes our bond so strong," says the bride. "I think given that we’re an interracial couple, it would be very difficult for us to face the racism we get from others who question our relationship if we weren’t intellectually grounded in progressive politics. We’re also both very creative; I make music, [and] Erin is an incredible poet—his vows were gorgeous, and had everyone weeping. I think we both strive to have compassion, integrity, and purpose in our marriage, which is what really holds us together through the struggles." When asked to describe her wedding day, Avriel called it "a powerful display of what happens when a diverse community comes together, with the intention to celebrate love, commitment, and solidarity."
After a farewell brunch at a beachside Malibu home, complete with a taco truck—because there are never enough tacos—and a DIY Bloody Mary bar, the two made plans to honeymoon in Senegal, with a five-day stop in Paris on the way. "When we traveled to Morocco for Valentine’s day in 2017, we decided we wanted to make our way down the western coast of Africa and continue visiting the countries around the horn," says Avriel. "Senegal is so beautiful, has great surf, and incredibly diverse culture, so it seemed like an obvious choice for us."
In honor of their wedding day, Avriel & Erin donated to the below organizations in their guests' names. Here, a brief description of each—and how you can donate, too.
Dignity and Power Now
A Los Angeles-based abolitionist organization that fights for the dignity and power of all incarcerated people, their families, and communities.
DONATE
Youth Justice Coalition
A Los Angeles-based organization working to build a youth, family, and formerly and currently incarcerated people's movement to challenge mass incarceration.
DONATE
National Lawyers Guild, Los Angeles
Lawyers, law students, legal workers, and jailhouse lawyers working to ensure human rights are regarded as more sacred than property interests.
DONATE
Black Lives Matter, Los Angeles
The Los Angeles chapter of the global network of Black Lives Matter.
DONATE
Black Mamas Matter Alliance
A Black women-led cross-sectoral alliance that advocates, drives research, builds power, and shifts culture for Black maternal health, rights, and justice. DONATE
Los Angeles Community Action Network
This organization works to help people living in poverty in Skid Row and South LA to create and discover opportunities while eradicating barriers used to prevent communities from building power.
DONATE
Homeboy Industries
An organization that provides training and support to formerly gang-involved and previously-incarcerated people in Los Angeles to become contributing members of the community.
DONATE
Innercity Struggle
An organization with the mission to build a movement of youth and families on the Eastside of Los Angeles to promote healthy, safe, and nonviolent communities.
DONATE
National Day Laborer Organizing Network
Improves the lives of day laborers, migrants, and low-wage workers by building leadership and power amongst those facing injustice.
DONATE
Koreatown Immigrant Workers Alliance
Empowers Koreatown's immigrant workers in low-wage industries for dignity and respect in the workplace and community.
DONATE
Los Angeles Black Worker Center
Increases access to quality jobs, reduces employment discrimination, and improves industries that employ black workers in Los Angeles.
DONATE
Venice Community Housing
Works to reduce homelessness, maximize affordable housing, empower low income constituents, and provide social services in Venice.
DONATE
Eviction Defense Network
A network of trial lawyers, advocates, and tenants dedicated to defending the right to affordable housing in Los Angeles.
DONATE
Inquilinos Unidos
An organization dedicated empowering low-income tenants through community organizing, education, and advocacy to fight for safe, decent, and affordable housing in Los Angeles.
DONATE
Heal the Bay
Works to mobilize Los Angeles's many diverse communities to protect our coastline, revitalize our urban waterways, and speak out for smart water.
DONATE
Everyone in, Los Angeles
A campaign focused on ending homelessness across L.A. County by providing critical services and housing to those who need them most.
DONATE
Surfrider Foundation
An environmental organization that works to protect and preserve the world's oceans, waves, and beaches.
DONATE
Trans Wellness Center, Los Angeles
Provides comprehensive resources and services for transgender and non-binary people under one roof.
DONATE
Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)
Works through entertainment, news, and digital media to share stories from the LGBTQ community that accelerate acceptance.
DONATE
Al Otro Lado
A bi-national, direct legal services organization serving indigent deportees, migrants, and refugees in Tijuana, Mexico.
DONATE
Carrie Goldberg is HarpersBAZAAR.com’s Weddings & Travel Director. She oversees the site’s BAZAAR Bride channel, travel & dining content, and styles fashion and bridal editorials for BAZAAR.com. When she’s not traveling, she spends her free time in her hometown–New York City–where there is no shortage of new places to shop, eat, drink, see and explore.
